When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
