Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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