chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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