I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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