what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
