You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
