she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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