my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
