On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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