I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
