People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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