Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
