I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
