ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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