I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
