so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You can't special order awesome
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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