yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
