Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
