how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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