so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
