His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
