I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
