Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need to sanitize my soul.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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