I saw his package. It spoke to me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
