I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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