i think my mom watched the whole time
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
