let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
