The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize