his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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