So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
