i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
