babies were throwing up all over the place
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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