i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
