I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
