Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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