The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
