dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i wish my penis had a tongue
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
