I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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