Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
