I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
