Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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