just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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