Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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