Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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