He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
