I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
