So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize