My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i've created a new STD.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
