I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
