I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
