I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sober January is a disaster.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
