You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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