Umm I'm too high to move.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
