Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
