You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize