She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
