why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Never joke about your clitoris.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
