Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
