Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
