I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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