There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
