I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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