you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
