She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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