Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
