We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
