What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
