Moan for me like Helen Keller
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We left an ass print on the piano.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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