i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
