my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize