you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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