Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
